


Consequences

by Drama_Duchess



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Bloody Injury, Drama, Friendship/Bromance, Gen, Guilty Arthur, Hurt Merlin, Hurt/Comfort, Life-Changing Injury Implied, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-16 05:02:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1332961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drama_Duchess/pseuds/Drama_Duchess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amidst a battle between kingdoms, Arthur sends Merlin along with other civilians to Anthrop Castle, a presumably safe place to wait out the war. But later, Arthur realizes just how bad the idea was when the enemy decides to attack Anthrop Castle first. Arthur and the knights race against time to save Merlin. Will Arthur find Merlin alive?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Merlin Missing

**Author's Note:**

> This fic actually came to me in a dream. I just thought I'd put it down in writing...

** Chapter 1: Merlin Missing **

The sound of hooves pounding against the earth in great speed was heard throughout the stillness of the forest. Prince Arthur had never pushed his white stallion Llamrei at so hard a pace. His warhorse was already exhausted from a day without rest and needed desperately to be watered. Galloping ahead, Arthur distanced his knights by a league, making it quite difficult, yet not totally impossible, for the knights trailing behind to follow him in the darkness of the night. Arthur's red cape embroidered with the Pendragon crest billowed against his shoulders as he rode deeper into the woods. The weight of his chainmail grew cumbersome against his body, as was his noble sword. But he ignored his aches and weariness. His determination was relentless and it showed in his hardened eyes. Arthur knew he couldn't rest until he knew Merlin was alive. Arthur took the blame for putting Merlin's life in danger. He truly felt it was his fault. He practically sent Merlin to die. He would never forgive himself. Right then, he only hoped he wasn't too late.

Arthur and the knights rode quickly past the abandoned village surrounding the foot of Anthrop Castle. The pungent smell of burnt wood, burnt homes, and burnt flesh polluted the acrid air. Through the smoky haze and glowing embers, Arthur saw the ruined silhouettes of demolished homes and store fronts. Bright orange flames were still shooting through some of the roofs, crackling and popping as it hungrily consumed the wood. Debris of all sorts were scattered about, along with heaps of dead livestock everywhere. Dead bodies littered the village, some severely burnt while others had been bludgeoned. There appeared to be no signs of life. Nothing stirred. Nothing seemed to have survived. There was only dead silence.

It wasn't long before Arthur saw the flames ablaze beyond the walls of Anthrop Castle. Only half of the north tower stood in the wake of a violent siege. The sides of the stone walls had been compromised with tall wooden ladders and tangles of climbing rope. An array of abandoned contraptions and broken weaponry littered the grounds surrounding the base of the castle. As Arthur drew nearer, he could see the drawbridge down and the outer gate hanging off its massive hinges. This was surely not a good sign and Arthur was well aware of it.

He came to a stop right passed the gate when brutal reality unfolded before his eyes. The castle that once stood fortified with power and prestige now had fallen into complete ruins. It was supposed to have been a place of refuge and safety for his people. Arthur knew what it meant to defend his kingdom until the end. War was a messy business and always left a trail of death and destruction behind. He needed to protect his people and prevent unnecessary slaughter. It was a matter of preservation. It took a while convincing Uther to evacuate Camelot as a precaution. The safest place for the civilians was Anthrop Castle. It was a fool-proof plan. Nothing about it could go wrong.

Arthur's heart sank when he saw mounds of dead villagers - men, women, and children - piled around the square among the fallen debris. Dead soldiers of King Anthrop's army along with the enemy lay scattered, some dismembered, others still with spears and weapons sticking out of their lifeless bodies. It showed that Anthrop's army didn't go down without a fight. Seeing this horrific scene before him gave him a sense of utter despair. But he vowed not to give up. He just _had_ to find out what became of Merlin. He wouldn't be satisfied until he found his friend - whether dead or alive. Arthur hoped with every fiber of his being that Merlin was still alive. He was willing to give anything just to know that Merlin was alright. He dismounted his horse, as did the rest of the knights.

"This can't be." Sir Gwaine said as he surveyed the area in disbelief. "What the hell happened here?"

"How could Merlin have survived this?" Sir Percival shook his head. "He wouldn't have stood a chance."

The degree of destruction was far too much for anyone to bear. Even in the darkness of the night, they could see the ground littered with bodies, discarded weapons, rubbish and all sorts of odds and ends. The odor of burnt flesh and decomposing bodies was enough to make anyone sick to the stomach. But Arthur was not bothered by it. Perhaps in the earlier days, the smell of decay and sight of carnage might've made him weak in the knees, but as he grew into a seasoned knight with a good many battles under his belt, he became immune to the bloodshed. Sections of the stone walls in the courtyard lay crumbled all around at their feet. Rocks and planks of fallen wood from structures toppled onto dead bodies. It was worse than a battlefield, more like Armageddon.

"There's nothing here but ... death." Sir Elyan said.

"I want the entire castle grounds scoured until Merlin is found. Leave nothing unturned." Arthur said firmly while adjusting the leather scabbard that held his mighty sword. He hid the guilt and grief as best he could. It went without saying that the knights understood the brotherly bond Arthur and Merlin shared.

Arthur knew things were hopeless. He felt it in his gut. Percival was right - Merlin would not have stood a chance in this massacre. But he just couldn't leave without knowing for a fact that Merlin was truly dead. He needed proof. He needed to see Merlin's body before he could have some sort of closure. Perhaps he fooled himself with a false pretense of optimism. Merlin was not dead. He refused to believe it.

The knights wanted to find Merlin just as much as Arthur. Merlin was a bit clumsy and rough around the edges but all the knights have grown rather fond of the boy. He was their moral support, their comic relief, their hope, and most of all, their friend. They also knew that it was in Merlin's nature to sacrifice himself for anyone of them. The servant was just as brave and courageous as any knight in Arthur's service, though he didn't always think things through before throwing himself into the face of danger. It was this very reason that Arthur hastily ordered him to evacuate to safer ground. And after much discussion and argument, Arthur was able to resolve Merlin's usual defiant I-want-to-stay-and-fight attitude. Arthur managed to persuade Merlin into being in charge of vacating the civilians to safe grounds. He was therefore convinced that this job was just as important as fighting.

Regret was the only thing that came to Arthur's mind. He didn't want to believe that his orders resulted in Merlin's death. If Merlin had stayed by his side, perhaps it would never come to this. Merlin would be alive. He would be safe and sound. He was too proud to admit that he couldn't picture life without his best friend. It was just something that wasn't possible. But it was pretty obvious to those closest to Arthur that Merlin was considered more than just a plain manservant. Arthur valued Merlin as a friend, as a confidant, and he would never admit it, but also as an equal. Besides, it was clear to see that not just anyone was inducted into the Knights of the Round Table without good reason. These choice few were specifically hand-picked by Prince Arthur. Even though Merlin's function was that of a servant, they've grown a sense of new-found respect and admiration for his undying loyalty to protect Arthur.

Arthur and his knights fanned out immediately to cover more ground. They quickly rummaged through the debris, all the while calling Merlin's name and hoping for some sort of response from somewhere. Instead, they only heard the echoes of their own voices. Arthur went his own way and showed no hesitation in turning over every single corpse in his path.

Three bodies splayed beside a heap of smoldering embers caught Arthur's attention. It was nearly obscured by the rubble of one of the towers. In the flickering light of the dying fires and the glow of the pale moon, Arthur could see they were bodies of three men. Two were faced up and the silhouette of their stout bodies clearly did not fit Merlin's description. However, the third body, lying faced down, was of a lanky frame, dressed in what appeared to be a roan-colored jacket and dark trousers. A large spear, with half of the wooden shaft broken off, protruded from the mid of his back. He looked like he suffered a great deal of pain before expiring. Arthur's eyes then travelled to the scruffy black hair. From where Arthur stood, he was not able to see the corpse's face. But something else about his scene quickened his heart. A few inches by the body, a familiar piece of cloth lay wadded and crumpled, half smeared with blood. This was no ordinary piece of cloth, but a scarf. It was a scarf that Arthur had seen on Merlin on a daily basis.

A nauseous feeling grew in the pit of Arthur's stomach as he approached the neckerchief. His breath quickened and he willed his legs to move faster but they refused to obey. Now, part of him didn't want to know what had happened to his friend. He didn't want to go any further, because the truth was there in front of him, and the truth hurt so much. Arthur wanted to put his head in the sand and pretend that what he was about to find out was not true. But it was a little late for that.

"No..., please no." Arthur muttered to himself, barely audible. He was glad that the others were across the area and not there to witness the tears blurring his vision. He didn't want to find Merlin like this. It just wasn't fair.

He approached the body cautiously. He stood a few yards away, just staring at it like as if he was afraid to disturb it somehow. Arthur stared at the back of the corpse's head, shaggy black hair in need of a trim. He may have recognized the pointy hairline right at the nape of his neck. It looked a little different now that the very head that he often found annoying was lying there so still. Judging by the dark coagulated spot of blood next to the corpse, the death seemed to have been a while ago.

Arthur dropped down to a crouch beside the corpse. His stomach was in knots and a thick salty lump formed in his throat. He never thought he could feel such a way about someone. He always took Merlin for granted. All the abuse that he had taken from Arthur seemed to matter so much right then. Being the prince's manservant was probably the hardest job in the world. And Merlin had a defiant streak but he often rolled with the punches - sometimes, in a literal sense. Arthur enjoyed bullying Merlin around only because he had the power to and the teasing was fun. But at the end of the day, he valued Merlin's input more than anything. There was something very logical and intelligent in the advice that Merlin gave. Of course, Arthur would die before admitting to it.

He wanted to call the others over but he needed to be the first one to see. He needed to be sure and most importantly, he needed some time to let reality sink in - that his beloved brother Merlin was dead. He couldn't let the others see him in such a distraught state. He brushed off a few droplets of sweat that slid down the side of his face with his fingers.

Finally, with trembling hands he reached out and touched the corpse ever so gently.

**End of Chapter 1**


	2. Merlin Found

 

After turning the body over, Arthur nearly cried out in relief when he realized the face and glossy, un-seeing eyes staring back at him did not belong to his trusty servant. The shock rendered Arthur so weak that it made him lose his balance. He sat on the ground breathing heavily for a few seconds, thinking how convinced he was that it was Merlin. He looked at the corpse again and noted how much the boy looked like Merlin. He had the same built, same hair, same clothing, and even similar facial features. The boy could've easily passed off as Merlin's twin. Arthur felt a sense of mixed emotion. Although sorry for the boy's horrible and untimely death, Arthur was glad it wasn't Merlin. He couldn't help but be a little selfish.

Arthur shook off the eerie feeling of how close it came to discovering a dead Merlin. His heart suddenly spawned a flicker of new hope that Merlin could still be alive somewhere. Perhaps the servant was injured or perhaps he managed to run away. Arthur was not going to stop until Merlin was found. He collected his composure and stood up. There was no time to lose.

Sir Leon had known Arthur the longest out of all the knights. He was the Grand Master in Uther's army and with some years behind him, he was the best and therefore recruited by Uther to train Arthur. As a boy, Arthur had indeed learned well from his teacher and had become a champion swordsman. During this time, Arthur discovered his talent for strategic warfare and battle planning. He knew how to put his full army's potential to use and knew exactly where to employ his force. It was because of Arthur's quick thinking that won Camelot many a battle. Sir Leon was impressed and earned a great respect for Arthur - far greater than even for King Uther.

Arthur looked up to Leon as a teacher, a mentor, a brother, and a friend. Leon's job was demanding and time consuming. He barely had time to himself, much less for a young prince who wanted to tag along each time he saw him passing by in the great halls. He felt a little guilty saying "no" to a child who had such a hopeful and enthusiastic expression on his face. Arthur had already been let down so many times by his father. It broke Leon's heart to see the disappointed look on the young prince's face when he explained why he didn't have time for him. But it was equally thrilling to see Arthur's face light up when he offered to go fishing with him on his day off.

Leon understood Arthur's attachment to Merlin. When Leon first learned of Merlin's promotion to Arthur's servant, he was a little skeptical about it. Arthur had numerous manservants before and none of them lasted more than a week. It wasn't until he overheard them bickering one day as he entered the stables. Arthur and Merlin were arguing about the correct way to saddle a horse. They were so distracted with getting their own points of view across that they failed to hear Leon walk in from the back door. Leon stood behind a thick beam and listened for a brief moment before a smile crept across his lips. Arthur had finally met his match. And when the insults started flying about, Leon couldn't help but chuckle. In all his life, he'd never heard of someone being called a "stupid clotpole". Leon could sense the anger in Arthur rising to a boil and stream was probably coming out of his ears. No one spoke that way to Prince Arthur, unless they were asking to be killed. Merlin had a bold streak and often too honest with his opinions. He did not always agree with Arthur and he was not shy about making it known. Merlin got under Arthur's skin and even with the power that Prince Arthur had, he never once threatened to expel Merlin from his services, thrown in the dungeon, or even flogged for disobeying orders. Leon knew there was something about Merlin that made Arthur feel like normal person, as much as Arthur denied it. Merlin was the only one that could put Arthur in his place and not be punished for it. Perhaps there was something "magical" about Merlin. No one could touch him. Underneath all the dramatics, it was clear to see that deep down inside, Arthur trusted Merlin with his life. And now here he was, joining in the search party for Merlin, who may or may not be already dead.

Like Arthur, the other knights refused to admit defeat and dredged onward. Leon was feeling the weariness as he lifted another piece of debris to uncover what lay beneath. He found nothing but dirt. Straightening up, he kneaded the sore muscles in his lower back and looked up into the dark, smoky sky. The coldness of the night was starting to fold in around them. He had long forgotten the last time he ate a good meal, slept in a soft bed, and relaxed in a nice hot bath. When this was all over, he decided he was going to sleep uninterrupted for a week. As Leon daydreamed about the day he could finally sink his teeth into a juicy roast, he heard a small noise. At first, he dismissed it as just the grumbling of his stomach reminding him how hungry he was. But he heard it again and this time, it sounded awfully like a soft moan.

Leon stood still for a moment and listened for the sound again so he could get a sense of where it was coming from or whether or not he imagined it. After a lengthy pause, he heard it again. And this time, he was sure it was indeed very real. The sound led Leon to an area of fallen wood beams, where it seemed to have stopped. It was dark and he couldn't see anything initially. He was surrounded by debris and corpses. It was hard to tell if something was out of the ordinary. Suddenly, something caught his eye - a sleeve sticking out from beneath one of the beams and in that sleeve was a bloodied hand...and the fingers of that hand moved. A survivor! Leon sprang into action. If this person was alive, perhaps he could tell him what became of Merlin.

"Hello. Can you hear me?" Leon called as he scrambled to remove the rubble. No answer. Something was odd about this fellow. The sleeve opening was tattered and the bloodstained, spindly fingers appeared rather familiar - like he'd seen it somewhere before. As Leon lifted each piece of wood, revealing more of the survivor trapped beneath, he recognize the simple brown jacket, then the blue tunic, then the chestnut-colored boots. And when caught a glimpse of a signature maroon neckerchief around the boy's neck, his eyes widened and his heart quickened.

"Merlin?" Leon gasped in a near whisper. Merlin's head was turned away and appeared to be unconscious. Merlin managed to moan in response to his name being called.

"Over here! Sire! I found him! I found Merlin! He's alive!" Leon hollered on the top of his lungs to summon the others. He was so full of emotion, anguish, and pure adrenaline, as he immediately began to remove the weight of the debris off of Merlin. Gwaine, Eylan, Percival, and Lancelot arrived shortly and helped in any way they could. Arthur, being the one farthest from the group, was the last to arrive at the scene. He pushed his way through the knights and found himself face to face with his servant, who nearly appeared unrecognizable because of all the injuries.

The first thing Arthur noticed was the thick smear of blood that had traveled down Merlin's face from an awful gash on the side of his head. One side of Merlin's face showed some bruising like as if someone had boxed him hard over the ears. Merlin also sported a slit lip, which was caked with dried blood. He remained still as the knights worked around him. With eyes shut, Merlin could've passed off as just another corpse, and perhaps it was a good thing because the enemy would never have left any survivors. Arthur winced at the mixture of blood and grease that covered Merlin's tattered clothing. There were so many bloodstains.

"Merlin?" Arthur leaned closer. Just as he placed a hand on Merlin's chest, the injured servant jerked awake and threw his hands up defensively.

"No! No, no, no. Don't!" Merlin begged. He coughed slightly and a few small dots of warm blood sprayed out of his mouth, hitting Arthur in the face.

"Merlin, it's alright. It's me - It's Arthur." The prince responded, voice teeming with grief, anguish and remorse. He realized Merlin must've been through some extremely awful trauma for him to act the way he did. Arthur brushed away the specks of Merlin's blood on his cheek with the back of his hand.

"Ar-thur?!" Merlin's soft voice sounded unsure and yet relieved at the same time. For the first time, he saw all the knights and Arthur surrounding him as his vision returned. All of them wore concerned expressions on their tired faces. It was comforting to know that they all cared so much for a servant. For a split second, he felt important.

"Yes. We were looking everywhere for you." Arthur said. "If it wasn't for Leon, I'd say we'd be here all night." He tried to make light of the situation.

"Yea, but you sure didn't make it easy for us to find." Gwaine piped in. Percival nodded in agreement.

"The tunnels." Merlin muttered dryly. "We found a way to get the people out of the castle and into the hills. Many of the people escaped through the tunnels underneath the castle. They are safe, Arthur. Your people are safe."

Arthur exchanged surprised glances with his knights for a second. Sometimes, Merlin managed to figure complex things out and made Arthur wonder if he really was just a simple-minded servant after all. "That's great, but why did you stay behind? Why didn't you go with them?" Arthur hated Merlin for always putting himself last.

"Had to make sure everyone had a chance to get away." Merlin replied. In reality, he needed to stay behind because he was their only hope. He had magic. The attack was a surprise and lots of lives were lost in the process but he needed to create a diversion so they could get the people - mostly women, children, and those unable to fight - to safety. He held off the enemy as best as he could, but they were too fast and there were so many of them. It was like a swarm of ants swallowing up the earth. They came from all directions. Merlin did the best he could and in the end, he paid the price. But to him, there were no regrets. They were Arthur's people and that meant they were also his people. He would do anything for Arthur - even if it meant to sacrifice his life.

"Arthur, you have to get out of here. They might come back." Merlin swallowed hard and sounded distraught. He looked so small and pitiful that anyone with a bit of compassion would find it an absolute heart wrenching sight.

"We're not leaving without you. Not after we've come this far." Arthur said firmly. As long as Merlin had even the faintest pulse in his body, he was not going to allow Merlin to die. He would carry Merlin on his own back for a hundred miles if he had to.

"You're one of us, least you forget. No one gets left behind." Lancelot said.

"It's too late." Merlin said bitterly. Part of him wished they would stay with him at least until he went to sleep. He wanted to die without being scared and alone. But he had such a big and unselfish heart. He would do anything to protect his friends. He would understand it if they had to leave him. He would forgive them.

"Please go." Merlin's voice came out in a near whisper. He was in so much pain - so weak and tired. It was painful to even breathe. Perhaps, being enveloped in darkness would be of some relief to him. He just wanted to alleviate the pain. It was an innocent wish and one that he didn't think was too selfish on his part. He grimaced slightly and tilted his head back, only to feel a coarse hand on his cheek telling him to focus.

"I don't take orders from you, Merlin." Arthur sighed with a heavy heart. His tone suddenly turned when he realized just how mad he was. He was angry at himself for allowing this to happen. He was angry at Merlin for not being selfish enough to save himself. "You're an idiot, you know that? A complete, first-rate idiot. I don't know what the bloody hell you were thinking. What were you trying to prove? You wanted to come out of this a hero, is that it? Because this is one fine mess you've gotten yourself into. I ask you to do one simple thing - stay safe. And here you go, you just had to disobey. Your problem is that you're an idiot and you never do as you're told." He just didn't care that he was degrading his dying servant in front of the other knights.

So much grief filled his heart that his initial response was to scold Merlin. If he had his way, he would breakdown in a sea of tears right there and then, but he couldn't do that in front of his knights. Arthur tried to be strong and composed, as a prince should be. But it was so hard not to feel some emotion when the person he cared so much for was lying there in pain and covered in blood. He felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. It was Leon and he understood Arthur's anguish more than anyone.

"I'm sorry, Sire." Merlin's chin shook.

"You're not going to die." Arthur sounded so sure of himself. He refused to allow Merlin to die like this. He will do all in his power to save his friend. "I won't let you. If anyone can fix you up, it's Gaius."

Arthur's eyes scanned Merlin quickly for other injuries and came to a halt when he noticed a large bloodstained rip on Merlin's trousers. Fresh blood was still flowing out of a grisly wound on Merlin's left leg. It was clear to Arthur that it was done by a dagger or some sharp weapon. Anger rose in Arthur's veins upon seeing the man-inflicted wound. Anyone who touched a hair on his friend was going to face the consequences. Arthur wanted to seek out the man responsible for this. But there will be a time for that later. Right now, there were more pressing matters at hand - like trying to get Merlin proper medical attention.

Judging by the looks of things, Merlin had already lost a great deal of blood and Arthur needed to do something before Merlin ultimately bled to death. Without hesitation, Arthur tore off a piece of his cape to use as a tourniquet. He gently slid the cloth around Merlin's upper thigh and tied a quick, tight knot. Merlin responded with a bone-chilling scream, followed by a sob.

"Sorry. Have to stop the bleeding." Arthur said sheepishly.

Knowing that Merlin was in no condition to ride, the knights searched for something they could use to carry Merlin. Elyan and Gwaine found an old farm wagon and hitched it to one of their horses. The others scurried about preparing for departure, leaving Merlin alone with Arthur. Arthur pulled Merlin up off the ground. With an arm over Arthur's shoulder, Merlin tried his best to balance himself. It was so hard to ignore the hot and searing pain each time he moved a muscle. His lungs were on fire and each breath caused him to cough. Even though Arthur had a snug arm around Merlin's waist, he felt Merlin relying heavily on him. Arthur noticed Merlin dragging his injured leg along like dead weight and it worried him. Merlin struggled to take two more steps and could go no further. The pain was too intense and he was on the brink of passing out.

As Merlin was about to slide to the ground, Percival came from behind and scooped the servant up into his arms. Percival was a muscular fellow and for him to pick up Merlin was like picking up a sack of flour. He never broke a sweat. He carried Merlin to the wagon and set him down gently. By then, Merlin was trembling something fierce. The tattered and bloodied clothes he wore just weren't enough to shield him from the cold night air. Without hesitation, the other knights removed their capes and gave it to Merlin for warmth. The wind picked up slightly and even though the others were cold, they were nowhere as cold as Merlin. Giving up their capes was the least they could do. They all have seen Merlin's injuries and although no one dared to say it in front of Arthur, they had their doubts that Merlin would make it through the night. Arthur was aware of the grim circumstances but he willed himself into believing that Merlin would survive.

They layered the capes atop Merlin, trying to make him as comfortable as possible. As the others went back to their horses, Arthur removed his cape and folded it into a makeshift pillow. He tucked it gently under Merlin's head. Their eyes met for a moment. Arthur managed an optimistic grin and patted Merlin softly on the shoulder. As Arthur was about to leave, Merlin caught his arm.

"Arthur," Merlin called.

"You're going to be fine." Arthur said.

"Just wanted to say, I have no regrets." Merlin confessed. His voice was hoarse.

"I know you don't. You saved all those people." Arthur interjected.

"I mean being your servant. It's been an honor." Merlin said. Arthur knew where this conversation was headed and he hated Merlin for doing this to him. "You'll be a great king. Thank you, Sire, for allowing me to be a part of that journey. I'm happy to have been in your service. Happy to have known you."

"Merlin...please don't go there." Arthur warned. He just didn't want to hear it.

"I know I..." Merlin began but the words choked him up and he looked into Arthur's eyes.

"It's not going to come to that." Arthur said stubbornly. "I don't want you talking in the past tense. You're not going anywhere."

"But Arthur, there is something you should know about me. I need to tell you before - before...while I still have a chance." Merlin rambled. "I don't want you to hear about it from someone else." Merlin never thought he would reveal his magic to Arthur this way. It was so unnatural - so unrehearsed. But somehow, he felt he owed it to Arthur and may not have another opportunity. He opened his mouth to say the next words, only to be interrupted by Arthur.

"I'm sure whatever you have to say is very important, but you can save your deep dark secret until you're better." Arthur insisted. He didn't realize just how much truth he touched on that sarcastic remark. "You're going to need your strength."

"But - if I die - I won't..." Merlin argued.

"I swear, if you weren't such a coward. Dying is the least of your troubles, just wait until we get back to Camelot. You'll be mucking out the stables for a week." Anger got the better of Arthur again. He knew how bad things were, but he couldn't give up - not when there was still a chance. He didn't understand why Merlin had already given up. It was so unlike the Merlin he knew.

"No, you're not a coward." Arthur muttered. After seeing the emptiness in Merlin's eyes, Arthur wished he could take back his harsh words. If anything, he should try to be a little more sensitive. "You're very brave. In fact, you're one of the bravest people I know. I mean, how many servants do you know that talks back to a prince and gets away with it?" He paused for a moment before continuing in a more solemn tone. "This is my fault. It's because of me that you're hurt. I forced you to evacuate. I did this to you."

"Not your fault." Merlin sputtered. "Never your fault."

"I should not have forced you to come here. The one time you actually did as you were told, look where it's gotten you." Arthur said. "If only I allowed you to stay with me. You would be alright. You would be safe." He held back tears.

"You can't protect me from everything, Arthur. If you hadn't sent me here, I wouldn't have been able to help those people escape. All your people would have died. What happened to me had nothing to do with you." Merlin suddenly sounded weak and out of breath. He figured at least two of his ribs were bruised or cracked, limiting the space for his lungs to fill up with air.

"Your loyalty to me is crazy. I don't know if even the noblest knight in all the Pendragon army would be as loyal as you." Arthur said.

"I would die for you." Merlin whispered. At such words, Arthur drew back slightly. He never felt so humbled and yet, so very sad at the same time. Merlin's devotion to him was incomprehensible. And at that very moment, Arthur realized just how bound they were together. It wasn't a master-servant relationship anymore. It had become something far more than that. Something about destinies intertwined.

"And I for you." Arthur said with tears brimming in his eyes. For the first time, Merlin seemed to smile. He'd probably never had anyone tell him he was worth it. Arthur heaved a sigh and quickly wiped away the few tears that escaped his eyes. It would be humiliating to let the others see a grown prince cry, even though a grown prince is still only human. "We need to move. Hang on, friend." And with that, Arthur led the knights out of Anthrop Castle.

**End of Chapter 2**

 


	3. Merlin Lives

Their journey back to Camelot was quick. Arthur led the group with Leon and Lancelot, followed by Elyan and Percival, and lastly Gwaine, who drove the open wagon holding the precious cargo - Merlin. Merlin felt every bump and grove in the road. It wasn't the most comfortable ride, but he felt the speed. Lying on the lumpy wooden planks of the wagon, Merlin stared into the night sky. He saw a thin swirl of clouds stretch across the mountain tops. Scatters of stars were twinkling. Merlin was suddenly overcome with exhaustion. The pain was starting to dissolve and it didn't bother him as much. At this point, he was more drowsy than anything else. He wondered if this meant the end was near.

He was never good at healing spells. No matter how hard he studied and practiced the powers of healing, it was the one thing he could not get right. He knew he lacked the strength but he wanted to test his abilities. He figured he had nothing to lose. He was already dying. He took a deep breath and allowed his magic to consume every fiber of his being. There was a warm and tingly feeling centering in his body and as he opened his eyes, his irises turned a fiery gold. A foreign word passed his lips. The gold flickered for a second and disappeared, leaving him weak and spent. He lay gasping greedily for oxygen.

Every few leagues, Arthur would fall back and check on Merlin. For the most part, Merlin had his eyes closed and appeared to be either unconscious or asleep. Sometimes, Arthur heard a moan or small sob indicating that, all in all, Merlin was still alive. They journeyed into the night without stopping. The knights were used to pulling all-nighters and ran on just several hours of sleep. It was part of the job. By the time they reached Camelot, it was midday. Instead of going passed the heavily guarded front gate, Arthur thought it wise to use the service entrance behind the West tower. It was closer to the hospital wing, where Gaius would be tending to the injured. It would also draw less attention and suspicion in case the enemy was watching.

The knights worked quickly and quietly. Percival carried Merlin, who was still swathed in capes, and hurried into the castle with Arthur walking speedily behind. Leon, Gwaine, Lancelot, and Elyan took care of the horses and got rid of the wagon. By that time, Merlin was unconscious and looking exceptionally pale as his pulse grew weaker and weaker. Percival strode across the corridors in long gaits. Servants and other hired help quickly jumped aside to prevent being trampled by the gentle giant. Some caught a glimpse of the body that Percival held when he passed. A few people recognized Merlin and quickly succumbed to fervor of whispers. Once Percival's bulky form passed from view, they recognized Prince Arthur immediately behind and all became silent. Not a single movement stirred as everyone fell into deep bows and courtesies until Prince Arthur passed. Arthur was too preoccupied to notice what the hired help was doing nor did he care if their bows fell short. He was worried about Merlin and that was all.

The doors of the hospital wing swung open as Percival, with Merlin in tow, entered. Nurses, servants, and patients turned to stare at the new commotion that had taken to the room. They scrutinized the latest casualty of war for a few seconds and soon resumed their tasks. Scanning the large room for Gaius, Percival found him in the rear mixing medicines. There was no need for an exchange of words when Gaius saw who Percival was carrying. Arthur took note of the shocked and grieved expression on the old physician's face. Since Merlin's arrival to Camelot, Gaius had taken him under his wing. Gaius was the only person who understood Merlin and loved him unconditionally - magic, flaws and all. Merlin found comfort in Gaius and saw him as a father-figure. Gaius was someone he could count on and go to for just about anything. Gaius accepted Merlin for who he was and protected him from all harm. Even Arthur noticed the difference in Gaius since Merlin came. Gaius seemed to have a newfound a purpose in life and almost always had a joyous expression. Merlin was like a son to him and to see his young ward in such a state was horrendous.

Except for the obvious details, Arthur knew very little about Merlin. Merlin did not come from a wealthy family, it showed in the way he dressed and the way he behaved. Merlin wore simple but functional clothes, which were somehow made to be durable. Arthur used to be embarrassed to be seen with Merlin wearing his strange, earthy outfits and at one point even suggested the court tailor to create something more "suitable" for him, but that did not settle well with Merlin. And in the end, Merlin got his way and got the freedom to wear what he pleased. Arthur had also seen other little actions that gave him a clue on Merlin's character. He never wasted food. He always finished everything on his plate. Arthur had seen the way Merlin ate his lunch, sometimes he couldn't tell whether Merlin didn't have enough to eat, or if he was just always hungry.

Merlin lived a very practical and simple lifestyle. His pre-Camelot days were filled with routine chores, caring for livestock, and working in the fields. Ealdor was a farming village and there was always plenty to do for everyone during all seasons of the year. The days were long and hard but everyone pitched in to help each other. His mother always made sure he had a good place to sleep and three hearty meals a day. She understood her son's rare "gift" and did all she could to keep him safe. Any spare time Merlin had, he spent by the lake with his good friend Will. They whiled away the day lazily talking about random petty things. He didn't have much, but he was happy.

Merlin hardly ever spoke of his father. Arthur assumed the worst and so he never asked. But somehow, he understood and could tell it wasn't a good relationship from the hurt look on Merlin's face each time the subject was brought up. It appeared Merlin was the happiest when he was spending quality time with Gaius. It didn't matter if they were inside labeling jars or researching new medicines or even in the woods picking herbs and exotic roots. Merlin liked being around Gaius. He enjoyed watching Gaius work and learning about all sorts of scientific discoveries. Merlin also valued Gaius' words of wisdom and sound advice. Merlin liked being cared for and looked after, even though he always insisted he could do things on his own. Merlin was all Gaius had and for the old physician, that was more than enough.

Arthur watched as Merlin was carefully laid atop a bed in the rear of the room. Merlin appeared unresponsive to anything. Arthur found it hard to tear his eyes away from the sight of Gaius scurrying to and fro spewing instructions to servants to fetch this and that. All the movement going on around a very still Merlin made Arthur anxious. He craned his neck to catch glimpses of Merlin's face. He felt so helpless and useless standing there like a lost child in a crowded market place. He was eventually led away by Percival, insisting there was nothing more anyone could do. To keep out of the way, Arthur and Percival waited out in the hallway. When they got tired of pacing back and forth, they sat on the floor in front of the hospital doors like beggars. They were soon joined by the rest of the knights. The wait for news became longer and longer. Arthur told his knights to get some food and rest. At first, they all refused, knowing that this was Merlin's life they were talking about. Everyone had a reason for needing to know how Merlin faired. But Arthur convinced them that they all needed to be refreshed and on the top of their game when battle commenced. Besides, Arthur promised to tell them first hand any news that should arise. The knights left reluctantly and soon Arthur was alone. He paced with hands behind his back. There were several desperate moments when he wanted to barge in and demand answers. But he knew that wouldn't do any good.

Arthur was overcome by a sudden fear. Merlin had a good chance. They found him alive and kept him alive though the journey back. But what if after all that, Merlin still died? What if the injuries were so bad that Gaius couldn't do anything to save him? Arthur had seen the way Merlin looked and it was really bad. Arthur began thinking of life without Merlin. He realized just how empty his life would be and how much he would miss him. The abusive name-calling and bullying was probably unforgiving, but Arthur had a strange way of showing his affection towards his trusty servant. Merlin never took anything personally, because deep down, he knew Arthur. Arthur may be a hot-head but underneath it all, he was a good friend. Though sometimes, Merlin defended himself with a pretty good comeback. There were so many things Arthur wanted to tell Merlin and now, he may not even get the chance. Merlin, of all people, should not die like this. It made him so angry that he wanted to put a fist through the wall.

With a soft creak, the large wooden door to the hospital swung open and a young servant boy appeared. "Sire," the boy said with a deep bow. "Gaius says you can come in now."

"How is Merlin? Is he alright?" Arthur asked as he rushed passed the boy without waiting for answers. Gaius' robed figure immerged from behind a linen curtain. "Gaius, what's the news?" Arthur could feel his heart hammering so hard against his chest. He studied for hints on Gaius' face. Gaius seemed to have a blank expression - one that contained neither good nor bad news. It was a rather ambivalent look, but after a brief moment of suspense, a small smile broke across Gaius' thin lips.

"Merlin will live." Gaius said, ending the longest three-seconds of Arthur's life.

"Is he awake? Can I see him? I want to see him." Arthur stammered. He took a step forward only to be stopped by Gaius.

"Wait, there is something you must know before you go in." Gaius said. "Merlin has been hurt badly - in body and in mind. There were a few seconds when he came to and thought he was still back at that awful place being tortured. Please be gentle with him. He's been through a lot."

Arthur nodded and was about to advance again when Gaius stopped him once more.

"I've dressed all his wounds. He had a mild concussion brought on by the head injury and three bruised ribs. However, the wound on his leg concerns me the most. It's the worst I'd ever seen. It was a smart move when you applied the tourniquet. He surely would've bled to death." Gaius said.

Arthur was tired and weary, but his ears caught a rather suspicious tone in Gaius' voice and he looked at the old physician curiously. "What is it, Gaius? Is there something wrong with his leg?" Arthur asked. Then a horrible thought came to him. "He will be able to walk, won't he?"

"He will need plenty of rest and proper nourishment." Gaius changed the subject.

"Gaius, you didn't answer my question." Arthur said. He was very satisfied that Merlin will live but the thought of his best friend being crippled for life didn't sit very well with Arthur. To have something like that taken away will surely crush Merlin. And Arthur's heart grew heavy with grief for Merlin.

"It's too soon to tell. I should like to hope that he will make a full recovery. But truth be told, his leg will take longer to heal." Gaius said. "One more thing Arthur, I gave him strong medicine for the pain. It'll make him groggy."

With that, Arthur parted the curtain and stepped through cautiously. He saw a different-looking Merlin under the soft white sheets. The blood on his face and hair were cleaned off and Gaius had changed him into fresh clothes. A wound of white bandages swathed around Merlin's head. The bruise on the face was stitched up and a puffy shade of purple was forming. The split lip had been sewn back together and on the mend. White bandages were wrapped around a fist nursing defensive wounds. The blanket hid the other injuries. Arthur approached Merlin's bedside. Merlin's face was pale and his breathing was a bit irregular with small gasps every now and then. His eyes were closed and appeared to be sleeping. Arthur took a seat in the chair next to the bed. Merlin felt movement around him and peeled his eyes open.

"Merlin?" Arthur whispered softly.

"Sire." Merlin acknowledged with a painful grin. He was glad to see Arthur as much as Arthur was glad to see him.

"Do you need me to get you anything? Do you want some water or - or another blanket?" Arthur said, not realizing how ironic that sounded. It was total role reversal. Whoever heard of a Prince asking a servant if he needed anything? At this point, Arthur was willing to bend over backwards for Merlin. He knew how close he came to losing his best friend. Merlin's brush with death was nerve-wracking and too scary for Arthur. He hoped to never have to go through that again. Even placed in the most dangerous situations didn't compare to how genuinely frightened Arthur had been. He realized how precious certain things were and vowed to never take it for granted.

"No, I'm fine." Merlin lied. In fact, he was in so much pain that he could barely move a muscle. And perhaps Arthur noticed it as well. "Arthur, whatever happens, you need to know that I understand and respect whatever decisions you'll make. I won't take it personally." A tear fell from the corner of his eye. It was an all-knowing look that even Arthur understood what they were saying without having to say it.

"Nothing's going to change, Merlin." Arthur said with conviction. "You will get well and things are going to be as they were. You will continue to be under my service."

"Things might be different." Merlin said, subconsciously touching his injured leg with his hand. "I - I won't be the same. I think you know too. Gaius is being all protective. He thinks the news would be too much of a shock for me to handle in my condition. But I sort of already know." He said softly.

"You don't know that for sure, Merlin." Arthur said in denial. "You're going to take one day at a time. Things will get better. You can't give up. I won't let you."

"What if I can't do my job? What if I can't - can't..." Merlin stammered. _Walk_. The word was too hard for Merlin to say aloud. He just couldn't say it. This wasn't something he ever thought would happen to him. Merlin was the type who always confronted truths. He didn't like bad news to be sugar-coated. He took things as they were and dealt with it. But the possibility of being crippled for the rest of his life never really occurred to him until now. It wasn't just the subtle hints in Gaius' voice, but he knew his body. He somehow knew it from the start that something wasn't right and perhaps wasn't ever going to be right.

Merlin tried to be strong for the sake of keeping his sanity. He wanted to be able to say that he had things under control and that this was just another challenge that he had to overcome. He would be lying if he said he wasn't scared. In fact, he was petrified. The thought of being crippled and not being able to do the things he used to do was hard to comprehend. It was a difficult idea to digest but then again, there was no use denying the truth. Merlin had no choice but to accept his shortcomings. Magic was hardly enough to compensate for not being able to walk. He couldn't say it wasn't fair. He would've done anything to help Arthur's people. If it meant losing the use of a leg, then the sacrifice was worth it and not done in vain. The one thing that worried him was his future in Camelot. What would his function be? How was he going to serve Arthur?

When he first moved to Camelot, he hated it. It was crowded and people were loud and obnoxious. People kept to themselves and there were no time for pleasantries. Merlin saw them as cold and unfeeling. The streets were narrow and there was movement everywhere. Trade wagons and horse drawn carriages pulled up in all directions at all hours of the day. It was a wonder how Merlin could get from one side of the street to the other without getting trampled. Camelot was a thriving, busy kingdom bustling with commerce - a little too busy for Merlin. Aside from Gaius, he didn't know a soul in this so-called "big city." Merlin was used to the wide open spaces of Ealdor. People back home were relaxed and friendlier. But as his time passed in Camelot, he got used to it and grew to actually liking it. The people weren't so bad. They weren't heartless, just focused on making ends meet. In the beginning, Arthur was a bully and made his life a living hell, and he often cursed him out behind his back. But somehow, things changed when he realized the destiny-crap that Gaius and Kilgarragh kept feeding his brain was true. He found in Arthur the makings of a great king and a friend. It took a while for Merlin to see it, but he finally understood his function in Arthur's journey. He was happy to call Camelot his second home. And now, he feared things were going to change.

"Merlin, look at you. You saved my people from peril. It was because of you that they are alive. You are this way because you sacrificed yourself for them - for me. And here you are, worried about not doing your job. You've exceeded your job. You've done a job that perhaps no other servant in the entire kingdom would have done. Did you think I was going to replace you? Is that how you think I would repay you for your sacrifice and bravery?" Arthur spoke in a gentle tone.

"I just thought that..." Merlin's voice trailed off.

"You're not just my servant, Merlin. I value you as a friend. I will not abandon you. I wish you would always remember that."

"I didn't think anyone would go through all that trouble to look for me." Merlin said. Tears were forming behind his eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous now Merlin. I would've travelled to the ends of the earth to find you and you know it. I couldn't let you die out there. You mean too much to me." Arthur heard himself saying that last sentence. It was a truth and yet never really told. He had wanted to tell Merlin so many times but it wasn't the manly or princely thing to do.

Arthur had grown quite fond of Merlin's presence and learned to appreciate his honesty, although sometimes, he said things that were not pleasing to Arthur's ears. Merlin was not the type of manservant who agreed with everything the prince said, especially when the prince was wrong in judgment. Merlin often made his voice and thoughts known. However, his opinionated tongue frequently landed him in the stocks. But as Arthur learned later on, there was something pure and candid about Merlin. He spoke the truth and his advice, on more occasions than one, made sense. He hated to admit it but Merlin was, at times, wise beyond his years. Arthur might've found it amusing to tease and pelt insults at Merlin from time to time, but he would never trade Merlin for anyone. Merlin had proven his loyalty numerous times and put himself in danger to protect Arthur. Arthur always set himself up to appear selfish, pompous and arrogant - some typical characteristics royal blood should have, but unlike his father, he secretly cared about things. In fact, he cared a lot for Merlin. People came and went but Merlin was the one constant in his life - someone whom he could trust and utterly count on with his life. He loved Merlin like a brother and promised to always look out for him.

"I couldn't bear the thought of a day going by without you being there tormenting me and getting on my nerves. Life would be way too dull." Arthur said with a nervous laugh, and then turned to a more serious tone. "You won't be forgotten. You belong here. Your home is in Camelot."

"Thank you for such comforting words. I'm touched." Merlin said as another two big glassy beads of tears fell from his eyes.

Arthur was consumed with pity for him. In all the years he'd known Merlin, he'd never seen him cry. There were plenty of times he wanted to make Merlin cry just for the evil fun of it. Piling on an impossible amount of chores and ordering ridiculous requests, like sending Merlin all over town searching for something called "nutmeg" just because Arthur felt like using it for his stew. Merlin had never even heard of a nutmeg, much less knew what it should look like. He only knew that it was expensive and that half a kilogram cost as much as a whole cow. It angered Merlin for Arthur to send him on a wild goose chase only to later "change his mind" about the nutmeg.

Merlin was always happy-go-lucky and never held a grudge with anyone. He always found a way to make the most out of everything. He had a heavy daily workload, but he always did it, set aside a few complaints every now and then. All the heat he'd taken from an often disgruntled prince was never taken personally. In his life, the glass was always half full. It had to take something extremely big for Merlin to cry. And this was it - the straw that finally broke the camel's back. Seeing that much sadness, fear, and despair in Merlin's watery eyes made Arthur realize how much he regret ever wanting to make Merlin cry.

Arthur empathized with the pain and trauma that Merlin endured, but he couldn't fathom being crippled. Arthur always had everything he ever wanted or needed and things like losing a limb never crossed his mind because he was always so bold and held such high esteem of himself. As prince and champion, he claimed himself a winner and therefore, being maimed and incapacitated was virtually unheard of and not in his vocabulary. He felt almighty and untouchable. There was nothing that could prepare anyone from handicap. Arthur's compassion for Merlin was beyond anything he'd ever felt before. His heart broke a thousand times as he watched the tears stream out the corners of Merlin's eyes in a steady flow.

It was difficult for Merlin to hold back tears and emotions. This was the lowest blow in his life and part of him felt as though his world had crumbled right before his eyes. Yet for the first time since his arrival in Camelot, he felt like he did something meaningful - for the greater good. He never aimed to be a hero. He just wanted to help and be useful. Gaius always told him to take care and reminded him time and again that even with magic, he was not invincible. Merlin was human - flesh and blood like any other. Perhaps he pushed his luck too far this time. To end up this way, Merlin wondered if it was better off not being found at all. Maybe if he had the good sense to die, he would not have to ponder this question. He resented Arthur slightly for depriving him of the one thing that would dissolve all his problems - death. He cursed Arthur for being so determined to find and rescue him. Merlin's morbid thoughts would've been disturbing with reasons for concern had the others known. Feeling defeated, Merlin heaved a small miserable sigh and stopped crying.

"I'm glad you're alive. Whatever comes next, we'll face it together. Just know that you're not alone." Arthur patted Merlin's uninjured hand lightly. "Sometimes, I know I come off as being a real prat and treat you like dirt..."

" _Sometime_? Don't you mean _all_ the time?" Merlin corrected. He forced a smile. Arthur wanted to say something smart but he just couldn't bring himself to any verbal abuse, especially after seeing the poor way Merlin looked - the greyish circles under the eyes, a face spotted with bruises, and a head wrapped in bandages. Under any other circumstances, Arthur would shoot back a few harsh words and maybe throw in a punishment or two. But this time, Arthur just gave a smirk.

"From now on, I'll try to be more reasonable with you." Arthur searched for the right words without lowering himself too much.

"Well, don't change too much. Otherwise, I wouldn't recognize you." Merlin tried to be funny but failed when he wheezed painfully. Arthur couldn't help but wince in reaction to watching Merlin struggle slightly for breath.

"Take short, easy, and slow breaths. Don't make sudden gasps because it's going to hurt like hell. Ribs need plenty of time to heal." Arthur spoke like one with experience. He knew about broken and bruised ribs, especially since he's had a few of those in his lifetime. Merlin took Arthur's advice and his breathing eventually evened out. There was an unusual moment of silence that fell around them, before Merlin spoke.

"I - I'm scared." Merlin finally admitted softly, ashamed of revealing his vulnerability.

"I know." Arthur answered all-knowingly. "But you'll be alright." For the first time that night, Arthur smiled. It was a simple and effortless gesture but right from that one smile, Merlin understood the message Arthur was trying to get across this whole time.

Arthur may not have always been the easiest person to deal with, but one thing was for sure, he was just as loyal to Merlin. There had always been some sort of strong bond between the two that Arthur could not explain. It was something stronger than a friendship. Arthur didn't think it was possible to have this connection with a lowly servant, but as time went on, he soon came to realize that there was something special about Merlin - something that he couldn't quite put his finger on. He wasn't like any of the other servants he's had in the past. There was a sense of idiosyncrasy in the way Merlin presented himself. And Arthur wondered why he never fired Merlin for all the times he angered him. He surely would've done away with any other servant who peeved him in such a mouthy way within a heartbeat. Merlin was different. It was like as if their lives were meant to cross.

Young Merlin was told of a destiny he didn't quite understand. He didn't see how someone as minuscule as he could make that much of a difference. Sometimes, he despised the dragon for telling him that he had a destiny. In fact, Merlin didn't want any destinies. He didn't want to have anything to do with the snooty Prince of Camelot. He just wanted to live a nice laidback, normal life in Ealdor with his mother and all his friends. Things never have a way of going the way he wanted. His destiny was to protect Arthur and aid him in uniting the kingdoms of Albion and returning magic to the land. As time progressed, Merlin came to realize how important a role he played in this destiny.

Even with magic, it wasn't easy protecting the unsuspecting, spoiled prince from harm all the time. Arthur treated him badly - there was no denying that. There were plenty of times when Merlin felt so vexed and provoked that he had to fire back something in his own defense. It had its consequences - like mucking out the stables or the stocks or polishing all the knight's boots. Nevertheless, Merlin always stood by him through thick and thin.

Arthur never understood the real reason behind Merlin's undying loyalty and he may never truly know. Sometimes, it angered Merlin not being able to say something. The secrets haunted him from time to time and caused him quite a lot of grief. He wished he could be completely honest with Arthur for a change, but that would mean revealing his "special talent" and he couldn't do that. Arthur may not have known it right away but Merlin had a big impact on his life. Merlin's kindhearted and selflessness influenced Arthur each day and eventually, Arthur grew from being arrogant and pompous to compassionate and merciful, qualities which Uther lacked.

Nimueh's poisoned chalice played over and over in Arthur's head. He couldn't stop the images for months afterwards - Merlin being forced to drink the poisoned wine, seeing the bottom of the chalice turn up as Merlin gulped down the liquid, the sickening sight of Merlin struggling for breath as the fast poison took its toll, and watching in horror as Merlin dropped to the floor in an unconscious heap. Arthur was always able to find a way to save Merlin. But this time, it came too close. Seeing Merlin battered within an inch of his life was worse than any poison. He secretly shared in Merlin's pain. Each spasm of pain that Merlin felt, Arthur felt doubled. Still deep down inside, Arthur felt responsible for this happening to Merlin. This was his fault and he took full blame, even if Merlin refused to accept it. He wished Merlin would allow him to take some of the blame. Nevertheless, Arthur promised to make some changes. For one thing, he was going to try to be nicer to Merlin, because after all this, he realized Merlin's importance in his life.

Merlin's first impression of Arthur was on the negative. Arthur was smug and self-centered and Merlin had no intention of being his friend. It was the most unlikely friendship that started off on the wrong foot. But they've come a long way since that first disagreeable day. No one would've ever imagined how two people who were so different could become such close friends in the end. Merlin never expected their friendship to grow so strong and deep. Destiny.

Besides, Arthur wasn't so bad. He might be a little stubborn at times, but for the most part, he was just and honorable. He kept his word. This was something that Merlin could always count on. Arthur never broke his promises. Merlin looked at the face smiling at him and read the kindness in his eyes. He needn't worry anymore about his future because his future was and always has been right there in Camelot.

"You should get some sleep. You look like a wreck." Merlin drawled tiredly. He couldn't tell if it was all the crying or the drugs that made him feel so warm and drowsy.

"Look who's talking." Arthur chortled. "You ought to take your own advice."

"Thank you, Arthur. For bringing me back." Merlin's voice was small and barely coherent. It was hard for his eyes to focus and remain open. Suddenly, staying awake became a struggle and he didn't think he could fight it any longer. "Forgive me, Sire, but I'm going to pass out now."

"Sleep well and heal. I will visit you later." Arthur said.

"Mmmmmmm." Merlin mumbled before drifting off into sleep.

Arthur stared at Merlin for a few minutes, just watching him sleep. With blanket drawn up to his earlobes, Merlin appeared so much younger. He had lost the healthiness from his face as a result of the fatigue, dehydration, and excessive blood loss. With all the bandages and bruising, Merlin looked exceptionally beat. But he was safe now, among friends, and in good hands. At least Arthur had a chance to talk to Merlin and tell him that he mattered.

It would be last conversation Arthur had with Merlin for a while. Merlin slept straight through the next two days. He fell deeper and deeper into an abnormal sleep. Nothing could wake him. Arthur visited him numerous times and even tried talking to him. He was skeptical about Merlin hearing him, but he realized how easy it was to speak to Merlin, especially since the servant was unconscious. Arthur told him about his day and updated him on how the war was starting to dissipate as treaties were being drawn up. There were a few instances when a lack of words rendered Arthur a little desperate and he simply asked Merlin to "please wake up."

Aside from the shallow rise and fall of Merlin's chest, he showed no signs of awareness of his surroundings. He did not feel the prick and pull of his bandages being changed, or the stinging sensation he would've felt when antiseptic was placed on his bruises. Several times, Arthur watched Gaius "feed" Merlin. Gaius tilted Merlin's head back and poured various liquids down the servant's throat. Arthur saw how delicately Gaius was cradling Merlin's limp body as he did these feedings. Merlin was already a skinny fellow but now, he had become skeletal and Gaius wasn't the only one who noticed. Feeding time was the worst because Arthur saw how completely dependable Merlin was on Gaius for something as basic as eating. It was a sight rather unbearable but Arthur forced himself to watch. He watched Gaius wipe off the excess drippy liquid that had dribbled onto Merlin's chin. It looked very discouraging prompting Arthur to inquire about Merlin's condition a few times. Although Gaius explained that it was absolutely normal due to the exsanguination, Arthur caught the hint of concern laced in the old physician's voice.

On the third day, Merlin awoke from his coma, allowing everyone relief. Merlin was disoriented and unaware that he'd lost two whole days. In his mind, he'd just taken a nap. He was confused at the smiling faces and wondered why everyone laughed when he said he had a sudden odd craving for stew.

Arthur was so overjoyed that he ordered a servant boy to fetch a whole pot of beef stew from the kitchens immediately - and to make sure that it was hot. Everyone knew that anything that came out of the kitchens would be a top rate meal. It was food fit for a king, after all.

Merlin smiled at the idea of food. He was famished.

 

**END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! The story ends here, but I guess the question remains - will Merlin walk again? The answer is yes. In the months to come, Merlin managed to regain his ability to walk, but with a nasty limp. Of course, some days are more painful than others as he struggles to get back into a routine life. Arthur kept his promise in treating Merlin better. He found it quite difficult to yell at Merlin after all that's happened and even harder when he sees Merlin limping around as a constant reminder.


End file.
